Got an invite to do fasting last few weeks ago and I immediately grab the offer not because I enjoy fasting but because I have a lot of questions that I am constantly asking my God for the couple of months already and I was thinking back then that maybe if I do fast somehow I will have my answers for them.

I just lost my bestfriend's mom recently. My second mother perhaps since my best friend and I have known each other for almost my entire lifetime. I was frequently attending the wake not only because it was my best friend's mom but also because my beshie's there and that is the least that I can do for her. Never have I realized that there was a better reason awaiting for me on that untimely event as well. 

I will not directly mention what my dilemma is but I will somehow share how I got my answer (and probably you'll figure out what my question is eventually.) During her midburial was the ending of my fast and never have I expected to receive my not so direct answer during that time. In a typical burial you got testimonials from a lot of people- friends, loved ones, etc. What makes tita Lil's burial somehow exemplary is that there are a lot of people who want to share their piece of moment with tita that one of them was even cut half way through her testimonial due to time limitation. It was just so amazing that a simple community can change people... That a simple community can mold people and make an impact to others that they will remember for a lifetime. I know that this may sound blurred to most of you who read this but for me I just felt so proud that I have just recently become a part of that community and thru that testimonial parade that occurred I just prayed and hope at the same time that I'll be able to share my life with others the same way that tita did. I know for a fact that every one can touch someone's life but now I long to be that someone who do not,touch a person but someone who,was able to share my life significantly with others and somehow made our lives connected even though we are going through,different scenarios everyday. Well, maybe not to so much people like what tita did but at least to some who would proudly say when we're old and ripe that I have become and will always be a part of their life.

Another instance (or an accidental blessing perhaps) happen on the interment day. I was sent by my mom on the funeral home of tita then she left. Never have I realized that I have no ride to go to the memorial garden (well, I am willing to commute anyway but according to my friend it is a "pamahiin" to arrive at the memorial garden BEFORE the casket if you are not with the convoy.) My bestfriend's family car is already occupied with family members so she referred me to her friends whom I know also but I am not that close with. They willingly accept me to ride with them and they have sort of kept my company until a friend of mine comes along (...and I am very thankful to them actually...) How does this become significant to me and my dilemma. Well, because those guys who let me hitch with them also belong on the community that I was referring above. I may not have known them that much and I may not have exerted a lot of effort to know them better (because I am not like that) but nonetheless they offered me help when I needed it and it was just overwhelming.

To summarize this long blog I believe that all these events show me a couple of things.  First, I just realize that maybe I am worrying to much that I fail to realize that all this time God had provided me with enough person, resources, etc to cope with each and everyday. (Put all your worries to God for He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7) Second, regarding my questions, I believe that thru what happen this past few days God is just telling me that I should not rush things through. He's plans occur in His most perfect time. Although I may not clearly see His answers right now but he just showed me and assure me that eventually I will thru the help of my old friends, soon to be friends and loved ones.